NIAW: 5 things you can say to an infertile

National Infertility Awareness Week is coming to an end. This year's theme is "Don't Ignore.."

Don't ignore people with infertility.

There have been plenty of blog posts in the infertility community that talk about what not to say to an infertile:
Infertility Etiquette 
Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Fertility-Challenged Wife/Partner
10 things not to say to your infertile friend

Infertility: 16 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman Who Is Childless But Not By Choice
 

While this is all very good advice, I fear it leaves friends and family of an infertile afraid to say anything at all. I think it is more helpful to give people a list of things they can do/say. So, here are some things I find helpful.

1) "I'm sorry, it must be really frustrating and heartbreaking for you." Simple, yet effective. This acknowledges your friend's pain and is sometimes the only thing that can be said.

2) "Tell me about what you have been going through." Sometimes we just want to vent and get things out. This opens the door for us to talk about our pain. Be prepared to listen.

3) "Tell me about the treatments you have been doing." I find talking about the process of my treatments a great way to help me release some anxiety I may be having about them. So, when a friend says they are starting the IVF journey ask them to explain it to you.

 4) "After your next appointment let's go have lunch/dinner." Everyone always tells us to "just relax", but it is really hard to do that when you have appointments every day and needles being stabbed into your arms and belly.  Instead of the classic, "Just relax", help your friend get her mind off of things by spending time with her.

5) "I'm thinking of you/praying for you." Some women hate this, although I'm not sure why. For me it is just another way for my friends and family to acknowledge what I'm dealing with. The first time a friend said they were praying for me it made me cry. I pray for my friends when they are going through hard times, so I appreciate it when they do the same for me.

6) Get her a cute puppy. Just kidding. Although, that scruffy face dog below does put a smile on my face every day.

I am lucky to have a great support group. This includes friends with children who aren't afraid to invite me over to hang out with them and their kids. Just because I can't have kids of my own some people assume that means I don't want to be around them. This is actually very far from the truth. I want to have kids because I think they are great, I love them. Which means I would love to hang out with you and your kids. Don't be afraid to ask your infertile friend to hang out. If they are like me they will gladly come play with your kids. If playing with kids makes them sad, then they will say no. Either way, just ask.

So, don't be afraid to talk to your infertile friend. Don't ignore her. Listen to her. Be there for her.

Is there something I missed? What did your friends say to you that made you love them even more?

HTC Rezound: Android: Instagram

Little Dog

Isn't she the cutest thing ever? I really think so.

I love discovering new photography apps for my phone. I recently traded in my old Droid for a brand new shiny HTC Rezound. The picture quality of this phone is 100 times better than the Droid and I am loving it. With a new phone comes more space to download more apps. I will admit that I love the apps. Which makes appSmitten* a perfect website for me. appSmitten will email me new apps everyday, once a week, or I can just browse their featured apps on their website. It is a great place to discover new apps for photography, music, games, and much more. The great thing is that it isn't just for android, there are apps for the iphone and ipad as well, and it's FREE. I love free.

To be completely honest I do have one complaint about the site. I do wish the newsletters could be personalized to my preferences. I would prefer to see only apps I am interested in.  Although, I am looking forward to being surprised by apps I would have never considered, or found, without the help of appSmitten.  I am really loving some of the apps I have discovered. If you would like to give it a try head on over here.

* This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own. For every person that signs up for the daily or weekly newsletter I will receive $1.

I Blame it on the Hormones*

The tiniest dog I have ever seen is sleeping at my feet right now. She has been here for 5 days now.

She is supposed to be temporary. Our foster dog until she finds a permanent home. Unless, of course, she already found it.

I have never wanted a tiny dog. Dogs that fit in your purse never made sense to me. They can't be considered real dogs, can they? I assumed they were all little yappy nuisances. Well, I think I have fallen in love with a tiny dog.

I had been looking for a dog online on and off for a while now. A scruffy faced dog, like the one I grew up with, was a must have on the list of qualifications for a new dog. I found the perfect fit, her name was Rayne, but the timing was all wrong. When the timing worked out she was gone.

Then this tiny little Shih Tzu fell into our laps. She was found at a park by some friends and had been there for at least 2 or 3 weeks. She was abandoned and left alone to sleep in a bathroom. No one else could take her home, and none of us wanted her sent to the shelter. So, she came home with us. Temporarily, or forever.

We call her Stella.

* And a little bit on Burghbaby and her cute puppy pictures